7 Ways to Care for Yourself after Baby
The postpartum period can be beautiful and also be one of the most vulnerable and delicate times for birthing parents, and non-birthing or support parents. We receive messages in our culture about what we “should” do during the postpartum period that would help to ease the time. While we know these self care ideas are intended to be helpful, we also know they can be really, really difficult to maintain after the birth of a new baby, whether it’s your first child or your third. You may be thinking, how can I do these things when I can’t even take a shower!?
Now, with some distance from my new parent days, here are seven ways to care for yourself after baby (that I wish I had prioritized for myself!):
BREATHE. Pause and take a deep inhale and exhale before reading on or thinking about your next step. This action in itself will help to ground you and regulate your nervous system–and good news–you can pause and take these moments at any time, anywhere.
Connect. Isolation and loneliness can be common during the postpartum period–while it’s natural to want to connect with your baby or your partner, community can also be healing and helpful. Are there family members or friends or like-minded supports who you enjoy being with? Do you have a long distance friend, cousin, sibling who you can have Facetime at random hours.
Accept help and know that it’s okay to ask for it too. It can be difficult for many of us to ask for help from others-we don’t want to be a burden and everyone is so busy but people like to be helpful, especially when a new baby is involved. If a friend or family member wants to come over, and you’re up for having guests, consider asking them to bring you a beverage or snack, or having them do a task that would be helpful to you when they visit. Asking for help also relates to seeking out therapy, even if it’s by phone for now and maintaining your follow up medical appointments after baby. While it can be hard to prioritize your own needs, YOU are very important in this equation and taking care of your own physical and mental wellbeing is key.
Nourish yourself and have space for you. Take little moments of rest or quiet or time to do something just for you. Get outside for some fresh air–even if it’s for five minutes to walk out your front door. Ask your partner or a friend to watch the baby so you can have some moments alone to reset. Be sure to eat and take a short walk or drive to get that cup of tea or coffee that might help you feel connected to your regular routine. Listen to music or a podcast, read or listen to a book while you’re rocking baby, and try to stay connected to the things that you enjoyed before your baby’s arrival.
Tune out the “shoulds”. As a human, I know these things are a challenge to do-by nature, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others or our own expectations and think, I “should be doing this or that” but this type of thinking often just leaves us feeling badly and sets us up for negative thinking and being critical of ourselves. Instead, trust your instincts and intuition. You’ve got this; and, when you think you don’t, this would be a good time to check in with that person in your life who can remind you that you do.
Avoid the comparison game. It's easy to turn to social media during the middle of the night wake ups or when you just need to zone out; when you do spend time on social media, are there accounts that are more helpful to you? Do you find comfort or words of wisdom from certain people–maybe stick with leaning into those for now instead of accounts that leave you feeling more negative. Limiting the scrolling can do wonders!
Laugh. Laughter is incredibly healing–there are so many positive effects, but two that I’ll highlight are that it reduces tension and relieves stress, which are generally higher during the postpartum period. While we will have moments of overwhelm and exhaustion that make it hard to prioritize laughter, it might just be the release you need in the moment that will help you to keep going.
To close, I offer a reminder to try to just breathe and take in these tips but with gentleness and no expectation. This is a time and opportunity where you’re learning not only about this new baby in your life, but also about yourself.