Disordered Eating in Motherhood

In the chaotic yet rewarding journey of motherhood, it is important for mothers of young children to prioritize their own health. Disordered eating is a very real concern for women and men everywhere, but disordered eating in motherhood can come at a price.

Regular exercise and a balanced, nutritious diet are not only essential for physical well-being but also play a significant role in supporting mental and emotional health. By adopting a sensible and sustainable approach to lifestyle choices, mothers can better navigate the challenges of parenting while nurturing their own well-being.

Many Moms tend to prioritize the well-being of their children and families, leaving little time to focus on their own health and fitness. Moms also can be influenced by societal or social media pressure to “bounce back” after giving birth putting them at risk for stringent food restrictions and/or excessive exercise. During this Eating Disorder Awareness week, we felt it important to shed some light on the nuanced world of disordered eating and how you can be sure to care for yourself through the changes parenting brings.

The Pressure to Bounce Back

Ashley*, a mother of two who struggled with disordered eating after the birth of her second child felt the very real pressure to be a certain size by a certain time after birth. 

“I started my second pregnancy a few pounds over my usual weight, and then gained more during the pregnancy than I had with my first,” she recalled. “I had a hard time breastfeeding the second baby and felt sluggish and worn out.”

Ashley said she began counting calories and avoiding certain foods to lose baby weight and fit into her pre-pregnancy clothes. Months later, she was diagnosed with anemia and a Vitamin D deficiency.

“I realize now that I compromised my health in order to meet some unrealistic standard, not to mention the wasted time and energy I put in trying to control what I ate,” Ashley said. “I now tell my pregnant friends to take good care of themselves and be patient. Maybe those old jeans will never fit the same way and that’s just fine!”

Food is Just Food

Embracing a balanced mindset towards food sets a positive example for your children. Demonstrate the importance of enjoying a diverse range of foods in moderation, rather than instilling restrictive habits that may lead to an unhealthy relationship with food in the long run.

Avoid labeling foods as “good” or “bad” and saying things like: “I’ll work those cookies off at the gym” or “Only a tiny slice of cake for me—I’m on a diet.” Children—especially daughters—absorb just about everything we say, and we want to convey the message that food is just food, some just happens to be more nutritious than others.

You are doing enough

When it comes to exercise, there is a common misconception that only intense, time-consuming workouts yield results. For mothers with young kids, finding time for extended exercise sessions can certainly be a challenge. What might be a more manageable approach is to incorporate physical activity into your daily routine. Family walks, playful activities with your children (think old fashioned hopscotch, bike rides, playing tag) or at-home workouts that kids can safely join will contribute significantly to your overall well-being.

Be Kind to Yourself

Self-care also includes rest and recovery, which can feel like distant memories when you are in the thick of caring for children. Adequate sleep and stress management (think: therapy) are equally--if not more--important than rigorous exercise. A well-rested and well-fed mother is better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting. 

Remember, caring for yourself isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity. 

Taking time for yourself does not mean neglecting your responsibilities as a mother; it means ensuring that you are in the best possible condition to care for your family. Embrace the concept of balance and to be kind to yourself! Understand that perfection is unattainable, and small, consistent efforts lead to lasting change.

*Not her real name

If you believe you may be experiencing symptoms of disordered eating and are seeking help, please schedule a consult. Our clinicians would be happy to support you in your health.