How to Ease Into Summer Mode with Your Kids
As the summer approaches, it can often feel like a sprint to the finish when you have kids in school – only to fall flat on your face once summer break begins.
That said, the end of a school year brings a mixture of different emotions and stressors to the surface, not just for kids but parents too. Excitement about the transition into summer, anxiety about the loss of a consistent schedule and worry about the lack of structure.
For these reasons, you may be noticing an uptick in stress in your family. In children, this may look like angry outbursts, interrupted sleep, clinginess, regression or increased sensitivity, among other things. Parent and caregiver stress can be high as well, with all the end-of-year wrap up events, stress around finalizing plans, camp registration, trying to remain on budget and those extra little cherries on top, like teacher gifts or pictures that you forgot to submit for the yearbook…yikes!
In an effort to help make that summer face plant more of a stumble, here are some helpful tips that might make for a softer landing when that last bell rings and school is out for the summer.
Reflect with Intention on the School Year. Play School Year ROSE (positive), BUD (looking forward to), THORN (struggle), and SEED (worked hard on). This helps not only as a reflection point for the family, but also a reminder to your children of how much they have grown and accomplished throughout the year. Bonus..it also reinforces a Growth Mindset. See if you can stretch your kids to reflect on moments they stumbled and struggled as well as on their accomplishments and things they’d like to work on over the summer. You can help them reflect on how they ultimately made it out the other side, that much more accomplished, resilient and dare I say "proud" of how they navigated through all that was thrown at them this year. (This is also a great practice for parents to do as well!)
Previews, Visuals and Routines! One thing that may help your child transition into summer mode is to preview what's to come, including camps, trips, events and visitors. Depending on the age of your child, these conversations can be a brief overview or a more detailed talk.
Visual schedules not only help with the constant questions you may be getting from your kids about daily activities, but also give your child a sense of predictability and control. This will help them know what to expect each day. Use pictures if your child is not yet reading (sometimes it's fun to have them draw a visual!)
Routines are another opportunity to allow for predictability and consistency. For younger children "Social Stories" may be a helpful tool to use. A "Social Story" can be used to help explain each day, lay out norms, expectations, negotiables and non-negotiables. For example, "Today we are going to get up, get dressed, eat our breakfast and go to camp, this is what we will do every day this week". If the days differ throughout the week, find the things that are consistent to focus on, "After we wake up, we get dressed, eat breakfast and head out for an activity, we come home for lunch and some quiet/down time".
For older children, a routine may be something you expect them to do every morning when they wake up and what is expected when they come home at the end of the day. These can be posted as a visual in high traffic areas as reminders to them of what their specific routine is.
Another way to think about having consistent routines is to plan meal times around the same time as well as bedtimes and bedtime routines.
Practice Flexibility. Give your child(ren) and yourself time to adjust to the change in routine. With the shift from predictable school days to the more relaxed summer days, sometimes, even the best laid plans get thrown out the window. Summer can increase both positive (excitement) and negative (overwhelm) stress. Ask yourself, Are there things I can release control over that will help reduce my stress? Are there skills I can help my child build to take pressure off me and increase their autonomy and independence? Don’t forget that it is your summer too, so making an adjustment here or there to make things easier might just be the best thing to do in the moment.
Make a Screen-Free Boredom Buster Bin or Idea Board. Be creative, ask your children what ideas they have for the times when they are feeling bored and don’t know what to do. Make some rules around it like, before going to a parent or caregiver and proclaiming boredom, you must try three different options from the bin. If the options have been all used up, re-group and reset with new ideas.
Ask for Help! Summer can be a lot for everyone, especially during the transition from school into summer. Reach out to whomever might be in your circle if you need a break. Be purposeful about the moments you take for yourself.
Whether you feel you need date nights with your spouse, a break during the day, or someone to talk to about deeper mental health stressors or parenting challenges, asking for help is one of the bravest and most important things you can do for yourself.