Floundering ➡️ Flourishing: My Journey from Self-Judgment to Self-Compassion
As a mental health professional and mindfulness teacher, there’s a common misconception that despite the chaos of having two young kids, I’m always peaceful and calm and making my way through life simply marveling at the wonder of it all. Well, I’ve got to let you in on a little secret. That could not be further from the truth! In fact, I’d argue that if you’re truly paying attention to all that’s unfolding, frustration, rage, and angst are adaptive, healthy responses.
And just like you, I navigate my fair share of difficult personal experiences and inner struggles. My hope is that by talking about them openly, you’ll realize that you are not alone in navigating the complexities of being human. But what if this whole ‘being human’ thing didn’t have to be quite so fraught?
What would it look like for you to ‘flounder’ less and ‘flourish’ more?
The Truth Behind the Mindfulness Teacher 🙈
Don’t be fooled by my “mindfulness teacher” title. I have spent much of my life on autopilot, disconnected from my body and its needs. Growing up, I struggled with body image issues, exacerbated by societal pressures and family dynamics. Overexercise and alcohol became my coping mechanisms, pushing my body beyond its limits and ignoring its cries for help.
I’ve spent more time than I like to admit gossiping with girlfriends despite taking entire courses on ‘right speech’ during my training. Even at a time when I was actively engaged in my own education as a mindfulness professional, I was often disconnected from these teachings in my own life.
A Wake-Up Call from My Body ⏰
My body eventually began to send loud messages: knee surgeries from overexertion, blackouts from excessive drinking, and gut health issues from neglecting self-care. These signs forced me to slow down and pay attention, leading me down the path toward a more mindful and conscious relationship with my body.
The Role of Pregnancy in My Journey Towards Flourishing 🤰
Pregnancy was a turning point. The physical demands and restrictions during this time made me acutely aware of my body’s needs. It was during pregnancy that I finally began to listen to and honor my body’s signals, a practice that has continued to evolve.
Embracing Mindfulness and Self-Compassion 🧘♀️
What I learned through a lot of trial and error is that mindfulness is not about being calm and peaceful all the time; it’s about being present with curiosity, acceptance, and kindness. Through mindfulness, I learned to sit with my inner critic and shame, understanding that my past coping mechanisms were attempts to find acceptance and love. I was simply doing the best I could under the circumstances! This realization has touched every aspect of my life, allowing me to cultivate a healthier, more compassionate relationship with myself and with others. Though if I’m being honest, it’s a lot harder to show myself compassion than it is to extend that gift to others.
The Power of Community and Honest Friendships 👯♀️
In my journey from floundering to flourishing, I’ve also learned the importance of community. We need supportive friends who can call us out (lovingly) and help us grow. Having done my own inner work, I find that I more easily connect with like-minded women on a similar path. We may all be at very different points on that journey, but these connections have been crucial in my own development as a human.
FLOURISH = A Supportive Community for Mothers 👩👧👦👩👧
In our isolated lives as mothers, community is not just important; it’s everything. We need a supportive network of moms who share our values and can hold us accountable. This is what FLOURISH offers. It’s a space where you can nourish your struggling parts and plant seeds for thriving.
Join the FLOURISH Community 🤝
If you feel disconnected, self-critical, or disappointed in your relationship with your body, I invite you to join the FLOURISH community. Here, we welcome you with open arms and lovingly hold you accountable for stepping into the most thriving version of yourself. Let’s flourish together.
Join us and take the first step towards a deeply connected and attuned relationship with your body and a community that supports your growth.