Surviving Colic: 9 Things that Helped
There are so many experiences in parenthood that give you perspective. For me, colic was a BIG one.
Before parenthood, colic was something I’d heard about and it always seemed so vague and oftentimes, a little unbelievable. When you say that a baby “cries all the time,” before I had kids I just assumed that all babies “cried all the time.” That’s what babies do!
No. No, they do not.
My first baby cried a LOT when she was hungry, didn’t want to sleep (this was almost always, but that’s another topic) or being shoved into a winter coat, but otherwise, she was a fairly quiet yet strong-willed baby.
My second child was born at almost ten pounds, which is something doctors and people love to talk about especially when you’re only 5’2’’. Having a big baby is crazy to a lot of people (hello, same), but one thing everyone kept saying to me was, “Oh, big babies are so much easier because they can eat more and sleep so much better!” This was not the case for me.
Far from the case.
He ate well, but he spit up and screamed so much that it consumed my every waking moment. After he was hospitalized at three weeks old for something that turned out to be viral, he was dosed with IV antibiotics, and was expected to have some gut issues for a bit. When things only got worse over time, we did an elimination diet for me since I was nursing (cutting dairy and soy completely for a year), allergy testing, probiotics, baby massage, and a slew of GI specialist appointments, only to find no major culprit other than “he is colicky”.
Insert feelings of desperation, sadness, anger, frustration, and absolute and utter helplessness. For nine months, my son cried and threw up after every single feed – typically crying without stopping unless he was nursing or sleeping between 1pm-9pm every single day. These were some of the hardest times of my life. From coping with some PTSD from the hospital stay to developing fairly severe Postpartum Anxiety, the crying and questioning of what was wrong with my baby was extremely difficult.
Everyone’s experience with colic is different. It doesn’t happen all at once and it’s not as cut and dry as you might think. I hope my experience can help you feel less alone! These are the things that saved or supported me during my nine month stint in this club I never asked to join:
Find a seasoned mom whose baby USED to be colicky. This saved me. I came upon a friend of a friend almost by accident and didn’t really think that connecting with this mom would help me, but upon my first phone call with her, I cried my own tears of relief just hearing that someone else got through it.
Therapy, therapy, therapy! I had taken a few years off from therapy while adjusting to parenthood (maybe not my best idea), but the combination of my newfound dietary restrictions, anxiety about the crying episodes, lack of sleep, fear of never being able to leave him to get a break (because he would cry all day!), I was so run down and needed to talk it out. I found a postpartum doula who helped me a lot early on and with a little trial and error, I found a therapist that worked for me and also worked through some of the trauma I had built up from his early days that contributed to my anxiety.
Prepared meals or food kits. Oftentimes, a colicky baby is riddled with digestive or food sensitivities, meaning you may need to change to a hypoallergenic formula or cut specific foods from your diet if you are breastfeeding. I was breastfeeding my son, so splurging on dairy-free and soy-free meal kits from Hello Fresh or from the prepared food section at the grocery store simplified that area of my life and was the best use of our money at the time.
Mom and Baby Workouts. Fitness has always been a huge part of my own self-care, but in the throes of parenting a toddler and a colicky infant, I really struggled finding the ability to wake up early and get my own workout in during this time. My saving grace was mom and baby barre/pilates. It was the ONLY thing I did on this day (when my toddler was in daycare twice a week). I got out of the house, I would feed my son before class, he would lay there (usually spitting up on my mat), but was actually happy during those 40 minutes! I brought these same movements into my regular routine at home while we were just laying around during the less fussy times of day to keep my energy up.
Meditation. I downloaded the Calm App and paid for the premium version. I had always loved yoga and meditation but leaving my son for 6am classes wasn’t in the cards for me for many months, so I found my meditation in the afternoons and before bed. Yoga Nidra meditation before bed has been a constant for me now for 6 years since my son was a baby!
Nutrition. During these difficult months of high-stress colic (about 9 months for us), I lost a lot of weight. Between restricting my diet to be dairy and soy-free to breastfeeding and having intense anxiety, I was burning a lot of calories and knew I needed to nourish my body to maintain my milk supply and heal my body and mind! I picked a few meals I really loved that accommodated by dietary limits, and made sure everything had protein, fats and carbs. Example: Scrambled eggs, guacamole, and sweet potato bowl with everything but the bagel seasoning and sriracha every morning. I batch prepared grains like quinoa, veggies like broccoli and brussels sprouts, and protein like grilled chicken and hard boiled eggs that I could dump together and eat something nourishing any time I needed. I also stocked up on dairy free and soy free lactation bars to have on the go.
Wear your baby! I have always worn my babies in slings or Ergo carriers, but if you have a colicky baby, this is even more wonderful. The compression is often calming to a baby, but even when it’s not, giving yourself the chance to be hands free while carrying the baby or going on a long walk in the fresh air, is life changing for both of you.
Outsource. If you have a partner, talk through the daily tasks you need to do and assign out house work or responsibilities. If you have family nearby or friends in town, ask for playdates or rides to activities for older kids, grocery runs if they’re out, or playdates at the park. Everyone always says to hire a babysitter and that eventually was a great tool for me, but in the early months of colic, it was not appealing at all. It added more stress. So, I hired a cleaner to come clean the house once a week for a few months so I could have a little downtime (instead of cleaning) when my children were sleeping or not crying. Find what’s helpful FOR YOU. It may be different than what’s helpful for someone else.
Sleep. Obviously, sleep helps. But how do we get it?! There are creative ways to get sleep. If you’re able, there are night nurses who can support you overnight. For us, my husband and I teamed up. Still to this day, I go to sleep the moment my children do. This doesn’t work for some people but it works and is necessary for me. In the early months when I was feeding 3-4 times overnight, I would have my husband give a small bottle for the first feed so I got a longer first stretch. Later on, when the feeds stretched out, I would go downstairs and sleep on the couch with ear plugs about once a week. I would sleep through the night (or at least to some degree) and it was incredibly impactful. Sometimes, I would pump with a simple hand pump (nothing that required me to move that much so I could more easily go to sleep) but other times, I just slept. This was also a time when I rested or slept when the baby slept. I do not have strong sleepers in any respect so these naps were few and far between, but my goal was to sleep whenever possible. I wasn’t worried about my sleep schedule – I just needed as much rest as possible to get through this very trying time.
If you are going through colic or a particularly fussy stage with your baby, I feel for you and you are not alone! What you are experiencing is so hard mentally, physically and emotionally and I hope that some of these tips can help you get through it. Talking about this time is so important, so if you’re in need of support, please book a consult call with one of our amazing clinicians so you can begin to heal!
