Why I Gift Myself with Therapy
I am one of the lucky ones whose mother believes in therapy. At the age of 10 and being the youngest of four girls, I experienced an increasingly debilitating level of anxiety and irrational thoughts. While I still look back at that sweet young girl with pain in my heart for her, I am so grateful to be someone who feels so intensely and so passionately about so much in my life – and more importantly, I am beyond grateful for the gift of therapy.
After months and months of supporting me with long talks at night and helping me work through my fears, my mom asked me if I wanted to speak to a professional. Being a kid, I didn’t even know what that meant but I was thrilled at the idea of getting more help (even if the idea of being away from my mom for that hour made me physically sick). I built a wonderful relationship with my first therapist (also very lucky) and was in and out of appointments with her through my early 20s.
She walked alongside me through anxiety, depression, switching schools, disordered eating, academic pressures, an ADHD diagnosis, college applications, and even navigating all of the feelings I had as a two-sport athlete in college with big academic goals. When something felt too big for me, I knew I had someone I trusted who knew me, challenged me, and could help me – and I was always willing to turn to her for help and to do the work.
Therapy as a Parent
When I became pregnant with my first child, I tapped into therapy as a preventative measure because I knew my history of anxiety and depression and knew that I am at risk for developing postpartum mood disorders because of it. I spent a few months trying different therapists and didn’t find anyone who fit my needs, but felt well enough and busy enough in motherhood with my first to forego therapy. Postpartum depression hit me slowly and differently than I would have thought, so much so that I missed it. I didn’t have a relationship with a therapist at the time to connect with – and finding someone new is HARD, especially when you are a new mom and/or when you are in the throes of depression.
Upon the birth of my second child, a traumatic medical event with him, a frightening diagnosis for me, and a colicky baby, I KNEW I needed someone. It took more than a year to find the right fit, but eventually, I found someone through the help of a friend who has carried me AND empowered me with the skills to get through some of my most trying times in my adult life.
For me, the mind/body connection is powerful, for a lot of the work we do is somatic healing in the body and trauma release. I have also explored my diet and things like cutting out caffeine and alcohol, which have helped improve my focus, sleep, and anxiety. Setting boundaries is one of the skills we visit the most often and what has ultimately changed me as a person the most. But the most important thing for me is that I have an ongoing relationship with my therapist that I can call on when life or challenges become bigger than I can handle alone.
The Greatest Gift I Give Myself
Gifting myself with therapy regularly, even when there isn’t a crisis, is one of the greatest gifts I give myself. We are always a work in progress, and as someone who feels intensely and has a history of various mental health challenges, I am the first to confirm that things like anxiety, depression, disordered eating, challenging relationships, and perfectionism can all become dormant at times, and likewise can always show up when you least expect them.
If you are considering therapy but there’s something holding you back, here are some questions I have:
Is it permission to give yourself time and space to work on yourself? Here’s your permission.
Is it not knowing where to start? You can start here, or here. You can also start with your insurance company’s website or Primary Care Provider. It’s worth starting.
Is it feeling like your problems don’t warrant the help? They do. Being human warrants support.
Is it the cost? This is a valid and ever-evolving reality of the mental health field. Here at PWG, we offer sliding scale spots and/or you can search for a provider through your insurance too.
Is it the availability of time or other responsibilities? You will be able to give more to your work, your family, your relationships and your responsibilities if you prioritize giving to yourself first.
I am proud to be someone who devotes time to myself and my nervous system by maintaining a strong relationship with my therapist. When I feel confident and good in my body and mind, I scale back quite a bit on how often I book a session, but when it comes to how I spend my money on self-care, I will usually choose a therapy appointment over almost anything. It’s the greatest gift I give myself, and as a parent with a child in therapy, the greatest gift I hope to pass on.
