How to Find the Right Therapist
Finding a therapist can be an exhausting and at times, hopeless task. Even for someone like myself who works as a clinician, navigating our mental health system is complicated and frustrating. My hope for those reading is to share tips that I would tell my closest friends and family if they were looking for a therapist.
The journey to finding a therapist starts long before you actually sit down to begin your search. As my colleague Amy Corbett said in her post, deciding you are ready for therapy happens first - and that takes mental and emotional work. Once you feel ready, the hope is to find the right therapist to support you and find what you are looking for. So then the big question is, how do you find the right therapist?
Therapy Deciding Factors
I would start with deciding if you are going to use your health insurance or pay out of pocket. There are several websites that allow interested clients to search using a variety of filters and cost is often a key factor. The next piece is how you feel when you read about the therapist, see their video or speak to them on the phone. Zencare for example, has videos of clinicians where they talk about their practice and how they support clients. Other websites like Psychology Today have pictures and bios that help you get a feel for a person’s style.
How you would like to engage in therapy is also important. Are you someone that wants to meet in person or do virtual sessions work better for your schedule? Parent Wellness Group only offers virtual sessions and for mothers I see, logging in on the computer after bedtime saves so much time and work in their busy schedules. Also, I would look for when they have open appointments so you can make sure you are able to schedule weekly or biweekly sessions at a time that works best for you. When it comes to style, some people like direct feedback and want to leave a session with a plan. Others want to process things that have happened and have someone help them to reframe their thoughts and cope with current and future challenges. Others want coping skills, they want to know what I do with my anxious or sad thoughts.
The Therapist Hiring Process
When searching for a therapist, you are hiring someone. You want to interview them just as you would with a new team member at work or a caregiver for a child. I would highly recommend setting up a 10 minute ‘meet your therapist’ call. At Parent Wellness Group, this is our standard practice so potential clients can talk to the therapist and hear a little bit about them and their style and get a feel in the conversation for comfort level. Other practices offer this or simply calling and scheduling an intake could give you a feel for what the person sounds like and seems on the call.
Now, when it comes to deciding if the therapist is the ‘right fit’, one simple tool I’ve always told people is to ask yourself: “Do I feel better after a session?”. You should feel supported, validated, understood, relieved, or even just a sense that the therapist gets you. You also likely will know after the first session, maybe even in the first 10-15 minutes if this is someone that makes you feel comfortable, talks to you without judgment and makes it easy for you to open up and be vulnerable. The right therapist is someone you would recommend to family and friends who are looking for therapy.
On the contrary, I’ve heard from clients who didn’t always feel heard or felt as though the therapist had an agenda that was different from theirs. Some have shared that they left therapy feeling the same and not noticing much of a change. This is where I have always said then it’s time to look for someone new and that often comes with “well I’ve put so much time into this therapist, I don’t want to start over.” Which is true, however if you aren’t feeling better and you are pouring your energy into an hour a week or two hours a month, you should feel and experience a benefit from that time spent.
What To Ask Your Future Therapist
So start your search, use filters that help you narrow down what you are looking for. Once you get into your consult call, be sure to follow these steps and ask these questions:
Briefly share what you are currently going through and what brought you to therapy at this time
Pay attention to how the therapist responds and how their response makes you feel
What is your style in your sessions with clients?
How often would I be able to meet with you?
Do you accept my insurance, if not what is the out of pocket cost? Do you offer a sliding scale?
Help is available and you will find what you are looking for, even if it takes time! Contact PWG if you are looking for support. I’ve seen how powerful a connection between a client and therapist can be and I wish you the best in your journey.